Grief
- Amanda Geiger
- Mar 13, 2018
- 3 min read
To be honest, I have been having a hard time lately. I have lost one of my good friends, my family dog, and my uncle all in less than a month.
I feel like I am a different person, walking around so thankful to be alive but also in so much pain because certain people aren't... I didn't and still don't know what to do, it's like I'd been preparing for this my whole life but I still didn't know how to feel. I feel this overwhelming pain and loss that I never want to experience again - but unfortunately I know I will.
Death is a part of life and I know the pain will fade in time - or at least that is what everyone tells me. During this last month I've had to rely on my faith more than I have in the past. I am sometimes not sure what to tell people I believe out of fear of being rejected - but overall my spirituality is very close to my heart and soul. It is very important to me, especially in times like these. The definition I'd like to include is very general - for I believe that spirituality is an individual experience. Overall, spirituality is a set of, "personal beliefs that transcend the material aspects of existence and produce a sense of connectedness to the infinite" (Myers & Williard, 2003). When my good friend, CJ, passed away I was able to feel connected to him through my own personal connection to the universe - even though he was gone from this physical world I hold out hope/faith that his soul lives on.
I realized how much of a gift it is to be able to rely on my spirituality to help me through difficult times. I spoke with a close friend after CJ's funeral and she was very upset (like we all were). We had just sat through a 2 hour Catholic funeral that, for someone is very unfamiliar with Catholic mass (ME), was definitely a new experience. She stated that it would be so much easier for her if she believed in God - "because to me CJ is just dead and that's it". It saddened me even more.
I've learned a lot about myself over the last month - and I feel as though this experience will help me grow as a counselor. Grief is an individual process and even though we all go through the same 5 stages the order and intensity are different for everyone. Without having experienced grief I wouldn't have discovered how important my spirituality is to me. I feel as a counselor it is important to see clients from a holistic point of view. This means that each person has individual needs and spirituality is often one of those needs (The Role of Religion in Counseling). For some people, religion and spirituality may be a really important part of their coping skills. In order to serve diverse client's effectively one must be willing to incorporate any positive coping skill that helps and supports the client even if it may not align with their own personal beliefs.
References:
Kessler, D.Retrieved from https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/
Myers, J. E., & Williard, K. (2003). Integrating Spirituality Into Counselor Preparation: A Developmental, Wellness Approach. Counseling and Values, 47(2), 142-155. doi:10.1002/j.2161-007x.2003.tb00231.x
The role of religion in counseling | counselingpsychology.org. (2018). Retrieved from http://www.counselingpsychology.org/role-religion-counseling
Amanda, I appreciate you being open about your faith/spirituality. Grief is never easy and is always a journey that fluctuates. Your passion for faith and spirituality allows you to feel connected to those who have passed, whereas you mentioned with others, they have that feeling of just the person being "gone". Thank you for sharing and for being brave. I appreciate you sharing a not so easy topic that affects everyone.
Amanda, I can relate to you about becoming more self-aware over the last few months. Although, I did not experience the amount of grief you endured last month, I endured some struggles. I also recall a time in my life a few years ago when one of my good friends passed away unfortunately due to mistaken identity and months prior my friend’s father had a heart attack. It’s tough losing close people, however, I am impressed and inspired with how you are juggling the grief, while trying to get through school, work, life. I hope you can catch a break soon.
Amanda,
I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your close friend JC, as well as the loss of your family dog and uncle. I can’t imagine how difficult it has been for you and your family. I am so glad we were able to talk about your loss within our group. I recently lost someone I loved and everyday I am reminded of how fragile and short life is. Thank you for mentioning about your spirituality and how this has help you cope and move forward. Although, I don’t go to church often, I still believe that our spirituality must be strengthened through our commitment to continue to grow and serve by instilling hope in others. …
Hey Amanda,
Thank you for sharing what you've been experiencing and going through in your post. I know that you have talked about it in class but I know that its hard to repeat it and sort of experiencing the emotions that come with it. I really appreciated how you talked about the stages of grief. We all go through our own grieving process. For myself, I know that there is an element of faith and spirituality that help me through it. Like you mentioned, it is important to incorporate different coping skills and it should also be authentic to you. When working with individuals that have different spiritual or religious beliefs, I think that it's important to listen to…